My friend Gidget and I like to write supernatural fiction. We give each other assignments with certain criteria and here is my finished assignment. More to come....

A Vampire, a Queer Roommate, and a Man Eating Plant.

 

It was a good day until I came home and found that my gay roommate was MIA with my lucky pair of black Prada heels. On the nights he stole my heels, Randy became Miranda. Randy is a small guy and Miranda, to my detriment, wears a size 10 in women’s shoes, so she doesn’t mind squeezing into my size 8 designer heels. Since the black shoes were gone, that blew the plans I had for my black dress to hell and back, so I decided to go with the red one. That’s not such a bad thing, since I work in the antique book store my family left me and I dress strictly business for work. Buying and selling hundred year old translations and first editions don’t require low necklines or high splits. I was pretty happy with what I saw in the mirror, but still had a hankering for revenge on my queeny roommate. Before leaving I took the man eating plant from where I kept it on the back porch, hefted it up with a dolly, and moved it into Randy’s bedroom. It won’t kill him; its mouth stays strapped shut except for when I feed it. He’ll just piss himself in front of his date when he gets home. I’ve been babysitting the man eating plant for a good customer and friend of mine, Vincent, because he is allergic (allergic to being eaten by man eating plants I think). But its real owners will be picking it up in a few days anyway.

 Vincent is not totally human, but I don’t give a damn, because he single handedly saved the family business not only by his own patronage, but by recommending us to other nonhumans, who all happen to be rich like him. It was his grand annual event that I was running late for.

I realized when I got to the party that some people thought it was his fifty seventh birthday, but the rest of us knew it was his hundred and seventh. Vincent introduced me to a few interesting people before he had to leave me to mingle. One of the interesting people was a lawyer named Ethan. It was a short introduction; I was called away by an acquaintance just after we shook hands. After that he watched me from across the room. Everyone else had their eyes on the cake when it was time for Vincent to blow out the candles, but Ethan stared darkly at me from the corner. His stare was intense and seductive. It would have struck me as cheesy if that look had been coming from a human, but vampires could pull it off, and he certainly did.  I looked at him here and there, I guess. His skin was golden brown. His short, neatly groomed hair was darker than mine, nearly black. Through his form fitting tailored suit I could tell that he was very fit; it didn’t hurt either that he was at least a head taller than everyone else in the room. But like I said, I wasn’t staring. When the candles were out I took my glass of wine out on the balcony of the Greek revival mansion and enjoyed the look of the river by moonlight. After I finished my wine, I decided, I would go home. Posers, human and supernatural, I could only stomach for small increments of time. I didn’t hear him approach, but I felt someone behind me. He was only inches away when I turned around. Leaning in, he inhaled deeply from my collar bone to just below my ear. “You are intoxicating.”He said with a hint of a Mediterranean accent. His smell was intoxicating too I wanted to tell him. It was a manly earthy sweet smell; it was a come and rape me smell. But I couldn’t tell him that. I couldn’t say anything. Without warning he snatched me off my feet and we were in the shadows of the balcony, out of view from the party, though the balcony doors were still open. I could scream if I wanted too. He had me pressed against a big white column with the entire length of his body. And it was a hard body... all of it.

“Don’t be afraid of me. Just be prepared for me.”And with that he kissed me so that it took my breath, hiked my dress above my waist, and then I let him ravage me against the stone column. I knew he didn’t drink human blood, Vincent told me so.

When it was over, he leaned against the balcony catching his breath, his pants still open. I straightened my dress and left him there. It wasn’t because I didn’t like it, he was incredible ─ and apparently so was I ─ but I was mortified. I had never in my life done something so wonton. Before re-entering the party I had to let my hair down and thank goodness I didn’t get that hair cut I had thought about. My dress was cut low to just above my rear and from the feel of it, every one of those lines etched into that column I was slammed against was etched into my back too. And they say blondes have all the fun.

A week later he showed up at my book store. When I had acquired the book he sought, I bought it from an estate in Transylvania, and he paid me three times my fee even though I refused. He came in requested another book right away. He also requested that I have a drink with him and who was I to disappoint such a good customer.

When I got to the bar, he was already there, drinking blood orchid nectar. That’s was vegetarian vampires like Ethan subsisted on. He looked handsome as ever, in a suit as usual. His honey almond eyes shown even in the dark smoky bar. I knew the moment I smelled him that he was going to get lucky. He looked me over in my black dress and black Prada heels that Randy knew better than to steal and whispered in my ear, “You look delicious.” His fangs came out a little. Holy shit that was hot. Call me easy but I let him ravage me in the ladies room this time.